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Thursday, January 26, 2017

Procrastination ruins Resolutions

Procrastinators usually get things done but usually, it's at the last minute, right before the deadline. Doing things at the last minute works for some things but not all things and unfortunately, it usually doesn't work for New Years Resolutions. Why? Because when a procrastinator makes a New Year's Resolution they know that they have until the end of the year to accomplish it. Therefore, they do what procrastinators do and that is to put it off until it's close to the deadline. What usually happens is that around October or November the procrastinator realizes that they've slacked the whole year and then they try to get something done before New Year's Eve. Of course, by then it's too late because most resolutions require more than a month or two to accomplish. So the procrastinator pushes it off until the next year and the cycle repeats itself.

If you have this issue the best thing you can do is use your weakness or issue to your advantage. Your issue is that you love a challenge. You love showing off your ability to pull things off at the last minute. There have been times where you've gotten a million things done at the last minute and you even surprised yourself. Since you're so great at doing things at the last minute you've made it a part of who you are. Should you change, yes, because procrastinating causes unnecessary stress. However, that's another topic. Well, to use this issue to your advantage you need to set up deadlines for some of your goals or resolutions and these deadlines need to be placed somewhere that you frequent. A BIG wall Calendar is the best thing that you can get. Amazon has them for five bucks . Place it in your bedroom, office, bathroom or kitchen and look at it every day. It states desk calendar but you can hang them as well. The small calendars don't work because they can easily be overlooked and they don't have enough room for you to write on. Big lettering is best because it can be seen from a distance. If you meet the deadline, draw a smiley face or heart on that day. If you don't meet the deadline, draw a sad face on that day. Setting up deadlines will trigger the part of your brain that ONLY works hard to meet deadlines. Drawing a sad or smiley face on your deadline days will motivate you to get more smiley faces. After all, you like rewards, not punishments. You love a challenge, that's why you work hard at the last minute to get things done. It challenges you and you feel proud of yourself for pulling off great things at the last minute. Another way to use your need for a challenge is to sign up for challenges that hold you accountable for your actions and offer rewards. Basically, you need to understand your need for deadlines and accountability.  Having deadlines motivates you to get things done by a certain date, not having a deadline leads to you procrastinating things forever and sometimes it holds you back from accomplishing things that will make you really happy.  Get started on your deadline calendar NOW and good luck.

ps. The cool thing about wall Calendars is that you can see your progress and you can save the months that you really like, for memories sake. Also, they are big enough to use for all of your weekly reminders and appointments.

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

5 Reasons Some New Year's Resolutions Fail

Some people have a whole list of things that they swear that they'll change as soon as the clock strikes 12 on New Year's Day. However, unless you've been planning to make a drastic New Year's eve change and you're MENTALLY ready to make that change it will fail. You can't go from the old you to the new you just because the clock strikes 12. Telling yourself that you can is setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. My advice is to be realistic and follow the below tips

1. Give yourself time to adjust to your new changes. Assuming that you can change overnight will lead to you feeling like you've already failed after about 3 days of the New Year. Allowing yourself time to make changes or take steps leads to less disappointment. 

2. People aren't ready to change and they're comfortable with the way that their life is now. Now, I didn't say that they were happy with their life, I said that they were comfortable. When someone is comfortable with their life they don't feel that they need to change NOW or immediately. Why should they change NOW when they're enjoying their life without even accomplishing that goal or resolution? So, they make that goal or resolution wait until they feel like taking action. This leads to years and years of having the same goal or resolution. This type of person is usually SAD once the new year rolls around because they haven't accomplished their goal. Did they enjoy the year that just passed, yes or maybe but did they accomplish a goal or resolution that they really wanted to accomplish, no.  Why? The goal or resolution requires them to leave their comfortable box and do things that are uncomfortable or unenjoyable. So, every time they get uncomfortable and things aren't fun or enjoyable they go back to their comfortable box. This cycle keeps repeating UNTIL they decide that they'll stay in the uncomfortable box until they WIN, even if it's not fun or enjoyable. You can't go through life expecting everything to be comfortable and enjoyable. Well, you can but then you'll never ACCOMPLISH things that require you to be uncomfortable, things that are boring and require hard work. Realize that the uncomfortable thing will lead to something that is more comfortable than what you have now. Why do you keep making that same New Year’s Resolution? It's because it's something that you REALLY want to accomplish. Are you willing to be uncomfortable and do things that are unenjoyable? If not, you won't reach your goal.

3.    Be realistic. If you've been threatening to cut off that one person for the last few years and you're still holding onto them that means that you're bonded to that person in some way. Until you get rid of that bond or connection that you have with them you won't cut them off. If you've been planning to cut them off for a while that means that they aren't loving you the way that you want to be loved or they aren't treating you right. In my book '25 Steps to Letting Go of Someone You Love' I tell you how to let go of someone that is wrong for you.
     Also, if the person is a friend of a friend or a co-worker or someone that you have to see from time to time you can't cut them off. Cutting off someone only works when you don’t have to interact with them anymore. Therefore, instead of saying that you're going to cut them off, you should state that you aren't going to deal with that person on a personal level anymore and that you're no longer going to give them anything that you have to offer. You can't cut off someone that is forced on you, but you can stop dealing with them on a personal or intimate level.

Jasmine wants to cut off Tiffany because she thinks that Tiffany is a fake friend. However, Tiffany is a friend of the family and is invited to almost everything that Jasmine is invited to.

Rob works with Mark and wants to cut him off. However, at work he is forced to work beside Mark.

The above two people can’t completely cut off the people they dislike because they still have to be civil and speak to that person from time to time. Therefore, they shouldn’t make that a New Years Resolution.

4. Some people tell me that they're going to start being a jerk or a b*tch because they are sick and tired of people taking advantage of them and walking all over them. However, a week or so later that person is back to giving people everything they've got. Realize that if you're a genuinely nice person that you can't change your personality, You're nice and you'll always want to help people, even people that aren't there for you or people that don't deserve your help. Instead of saying that you're going to change your personality, you should state that you're going to keep your personality but you're going to stop helping people that don't deserve your help. Users and people that are never there for you don't deserve your help. However, it's okay for you to help those that are there for you and those that are in need. Using your kindness to help those in need and those that appreciate you will make you happy and it will allow you to keep your same personality. Just learn how to say ‘no’ to people that use you and only come around to get things from you. Would they help you if you needed help? Do they break their back for you? Do they call to see how you're doing? Do they care about you? If not, don’t change who you are, just change who you associate with. Be yourself but find people that appreciate you and what you do.

5. If you've had the same New Year’s Resolution for the last few years, it's time for you to reevaluate your goal and figure out WHY you aren't making progress. What excuses are you making over and over again? WHY isn't it getting done? Don't make it a goal if you aren't going to take the necessary steps to accomplish it. Constantly making goals that you don't plan on WORKING hard for leads to you feeling disappointed in yourself, year after year. Make sure that this is the last year that you have that same resolution. No more excuses, no more quitting and no more slacking. Get up and get busy. Learn how to motivate yourself. You can't wait around for someone else to change your life you have to get up and change it yourself? What are you waiting for? A miracle, a hero, a prince charming, a princess, a fairy godmother? Realize that the person that can change your life is looking at you in your mirror! They don't have a magic wand but they DO have all the tools that they need to get the job done. They're good enough, smart enough, strong enough and talented enough to get it done.

Are you holding yourself back in life? Take this quiz to find out NOW

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Are you holding yourself back in life? How ambitious are you? Take MY QUIZ to find out now

Are you Ambitious? Take my quiz to find out NOW!

How ambitious are you? Are you living life to the fullest or are you holding yourself back?

  1. How many days per week do you procrastinate something by saying that you'll do it later?

  2. Every day of the week
    0-2 days out of the week
    3-6 days out of the week

  3. In 2016, how many times did you quit something because it was taking too long to accomplish?

  4. A few times
    More times than I can count.
    Not at all

  5. When you think you can't do something or you think that you'll fail you

  6. Sometimes you try to do it anyway and sometimes you don't
    Try it anyway to see what happens
    Are afraid to try it because you don't want to fail or lose

  7. Are you afraid to try something because you're afraid of what people will think or say about you?

  8. Yes
    Sometimes I care and Sometimes I don't
    No, I always do what I want even if people will laugh at me or judge me

  9. When you're chasing your goals and problems come up

  10. Sometimes you keep chasing your goal and sometimes you use your problem as excuse to quit
    You solve the problem and continue chasing your goal
    You use the problem as an excuse to quit

  11. After you fail something

  12. Sometimes you try it again and sometimes you just give up on it
    You figure out what went wrong and try again
    You think you're not good enough or smart enough to be successful and give up on that goal

  13. How many life changing goals are you chasing right now

  14. 0

  15. How many excuses do you usually make per day? I'm too tired. I don't have time. I can't do it etch

  16. 0-2

  17. Do you give up on things that are too hard

  18. All the time

  19. Are you proud of what you've done so far in life

  20. Yes, but I'm still trying to improve more things in my life
    No, but I'm currently working on things that will change my life
    No, but I wish that I could do something to change my life

13+ You're ambitious. Keep it up and keep on pushing yourself to do more. Stay focused and remember that there's always room for improvement or growth. There's always something that you can do to improve yourself or your life
9-12 You're somewhat ambitious. But you need to be more focused and more determined. You've set limits for yourself and those limits are holding you back in some areas of your life. Push yourself past your own limits or better yet remove those limits altogether. You're smart enough and strong enough to go further than you think you can.
5-8 You're holding yourself back in life. If you're unhappy with your life it's because you aren't doing everything you can to better your life. You're justing doing the minimum. Start doing the maximum and your life will improve. Step outside of the box and don't be afraid to try new things. Less talk and more action.
0-4 You're definitely holding yourself back in life and you lack ambition and motivation. Your life won't improve until you believe in yourself and fight for yourself. Less talk and more actions. Stop talking about it and get up and do something about it. Actions speak louder than words. Stop giving up on yourself. Let yourself be GREAT

Saturday, January 7, 2017

March Birthdays on Twitter


On your birthday you will get a GROUP shoutout from me to Wish you a Happy Birthday. Solo shout outs will only be given if you're the only one with that birthday. @SlimPhatty with your birthdate to add your name to the calendar. Must be following me.
  1. .
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  9. .@Juliachantel24 
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  18. .@honeydunch  @JodiiJodii  
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  21. @stxrline .
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February birthdays on Twitter


On your birthday you will get a GROUP shoutout from me to Wish you a Happy Birthday. Solo shoutouts will only be given if you're the only one with that birthday. @SlimPhatty with your birthdate to add your name to the calendar. Must be following me.

  3.    @xoxo_Nesha1
  5.      @chynnadurant1 
  11.  @ProuargeGamer  
  14.   @daniacourtneyy     
  22.  @ChillSolo
  23.           @Kara_Lynn16             
  24.       @IAmRoyaltyTho     
  26.   @CharmnCharliee

January Birthdays on Twitter


On your birthday you will get a GROUP shoutout from me to Wish you a Happy Birthday. Solo shoutouts will only be given if you're the only one with that birthday. @SlimPhatty with your birthdate to add your name to the calendar. Must be following me.
  5.       @WoodsideNeeko  
  10.  @F0REVER__L0YAL       @johntubor @PrincessLalaJay
  11.     @t00ncie_   @Ladii_Passion        
  17.    @LoveeAnaya_ @StacczB3FlowWin   
  20.  @BigBro_Smoove 
  21.  @MurderMalo   ‏            
  22.   @ClassyQuini   @ImFunsized23 
  23.      @Kami2468 
  24.  @_FeyButter    @asap_nappy_ 
  26.  @_ThuggLifee2016     
  30. @itsKwtf   

Friday, January 6, 2017

Is SHE using you or not? Take MY QUIZ to find out NOW

Is she USING you? Take MY QUIZ and find out NOW

Is the girl you're interested in using you? Take MY QUIZ and find out NOW. quiz by Sonya Parker

  1. She calls me when

  2. She wants to talk about her problems
    She wants to talk about her problems and when she wants money
    She wants to talk about her problems, to see how I'm doing and to hangout

  3. I will describe our situation as

  4. Give and take
    Only take, I'm there for her but she's never there for me
    Okay, she's there for me sometimes but I'm there for her more

  5. Does she ever call you just to see how you're doing, without wanting anything from you

  6. Sometimes
    All the time

  7. Are you having sex with her?

  8. We've had sex before but she won't have sex with me anymore
    We've never had sex

  9. Does she ever invite you anywhere? Not a self-invite but a real invite?

  10. Yes, all the time

  11. Does she say 'thank you' when you do things for her

  12. Sometimes
    All the time

  13. Does she get mad at you if you say no to her request?

  14. Yes

  15. Are you paying any of her bills?

  16. I pay one or more of her bills regularly
    She didn't ask me but I offered to pay when she had an emergency

  17. Has she ever given you anything

  18. She's never given me anything
    Yes on special occasions
    Yes, for no reason and on special occasions

  19. Does she constantly ask you for things

  20. No
    No, only once in a while
    Yes she does

  21. How often do you give her money

  22. Once or twice a month
    Not often. I offer to help once in a blue moon

  23. Does she kiss you

  24. We kissed once or twice before but she won't kiss me anymore
    We've never kissed
    She kisses me on lips or on the cheeks or blows me kisses

Click 'Grade Me' to see your score.
Scored 19 or more? She isn't using you, she considers you as a friend that she can count on. She might even LIKE you as more than friends.
Scored 15-18? She considers you as one of her friends. She isn't intentionally trying to take advantage of you. This is mostly a give and take friendship because she isn't just taking from you. She offers you something in return for your kindness whether it's friendship, emotional support, social activities, an ear, fun, advice etch.
Scored 10-14? You're more of an acquaintance than a close friend. However, she isn't intentionally trying to take advantage of you. If you feel used start saying NO to some of her request.
Scored 0-9? Red flags, she's taking advantage of you, start saying NO to her request. Never let anyone use you.